I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
