He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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