Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
