The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
