It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
