Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
