You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
So squirting runs in the family.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
