Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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