Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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