Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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