If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
