if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I currently don't understand fingers.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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