Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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