he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
