My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
