where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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