super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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