we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
