Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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