If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
