respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
