I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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