She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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