So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
