and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
