Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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