Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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