Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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