Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
