I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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