i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
