You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
