I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
