It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
