Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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