if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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