when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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