i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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