So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
