By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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