Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
