Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
