Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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