were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize