I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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