im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
