No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
