brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
