I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
i drank out of a bidet.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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