Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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