Don't you send me to vm
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
