I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
