Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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