Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
