haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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