I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
