If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
