I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
