coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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