Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
