My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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