Already got asked if we're dating
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize