So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Oh god it's open bar.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
